The Hottest Part of the Flame

I did an exercise tonight which I became drawn to the blue part of the fire flame. Is it a coincidence that blue has always been my favorite color? It is the hottest part of the fire. It make me ponder, am I now reaching the blue part of my flame? The hottest part? If this isn't the blue part, I don't know what to expect in the future, because it is freaking burning right now. I have learned that I only do two things well at any point in time. I can only have two main focuses. This is both good and bad. I have SO many interests right now. I would love to delve into each one of them and live richly, but I know myself well enough to know that I can only concentrate on two of them with any intention. My three main goals this year, Healthy, Wealthy and Stealthy are coming along very well. I am currently deep in the blue of Stealthy right now as I am training for my triathlon, which is in...three weeks and counting, gasp! I don't have any doubts that I can do it at this point, my only question is how well? I just want to be able to complete all three legs with gusto and without stopping. My biggest fear is that I will not be mentally tough enough to complete the 5K after the swim and bike portion. I have to work through my feelings about how it will feel to walk or if that is even an option. To prove to myself that I have come this far, and can indeed run a 5K, I completed my first one this past weekend. I did really well, and with the help of a dear friend Robin, I didn't stop and just kept moving forward (thank you Meredith Atwood). Will I be able to have that kind of focus and intensity day of? I hope so. For now, just keep on training! I have also been focusing on Wealthy. We have been working the Dave Ramsey plan for six and a half years and payed off the rest of our consumer debt this spring! YEA! With that we have set some new goals (send Heath through school debt free) which have really caused me to focus on the b-word...Budget. We have, for the past six years, had what I would call a spending plan, but very rarely a budget. I now spend every penny on paper before the month begins. I know the first of the month how much money we have to spend on diapers, food and toilet paper. Going to the store and planning meals for the week within a certain amount of cash is interesting and challenging. Instead of thinking about how much it sucks and how much I would like to just get what we need and not pay attention to cost, I take it as a challenge I need to master. I have been having a lot of fun approaching it as a puzzle. It has really made me question the abundance we have as Americans, and how much do we REALLY need? What a change our lives have taken over the past year. Heath has had an amazing attitude for being part of the ride. I need to work this fall on the Healthy. Once the triathlon is over, and my exercise routine that is now hard wired in becomes a less area of focus and more maintanence, I need to focus on my meditative practice and my spiritual journey. This goal has taken kind of a back burner, but is still much of a focus for the year. I am going to seek out a meditation retreat this fall, hopefully around October. I feel like this is an areas where I can have tremndous growth and this growth will then spill back over into Stealthy and Wealthy. It probably needed to be first in the year, a January and February project, but then we need to approach everything in its own devine timing as well. One thing I have learned for sure is that I am etching out time in my life for, um, ME, and I do not feel guilty about it. I am no good to anyone else in my life if I am completly drained. I could have very well gone to bed tonight with my husband, but I chose to follow my desires and have a Mom date on the back porch. Wine, Candle and my blog. Life is good...GREAT!