Now as a mother of two small children I often ask myself "How did we get Cheerios there"? as I change my 8 month old sons diaper. Just the beginning of many mysteries that go with being a parent. It is a beautiful day outside, I am sitting blogging and enjoying the rustle of wind through the trees, the smell of summer and the slight bit of sunshine hitting my left shoulder. Where is my almost three year old you ask? Outside playing with the homemade sidewalk paints (thank you Pinterest)
I am trying to live the best life I can, model the best behavior for my children that I can, and do the best for them that I can. That is all that we can ask of ourselves, right? I am sure that this self induced guilt that I feel for EVERY decision I make and every day I live, will indeed last until the day I die. But I am truly doing the BEST that I can. I felt guilty yesterday for taking most of the day to spend on ... ME! But on the other side of the coin, what healthy behavior am I modeling for them that I take time for myself?
I am working towards completing my very first (and maybe last) Triathlon at the beginning of August. I have been pretty worried about the open water swim portion of the triathlon. The event creators also hosted a camp for Tri newbies. Although it was more money than I wanted to spend, had to rearrange my already difficult schedule and spend a good portion of the day away from my family, I chose to go. It was AWESOME! We got to work with some fabulous coaches and triathletes. I hung on every word they said and learned so many amazing things. The biggest thing I learned? I sell myself short often! I think we all do, and I am nothing special. What I am truly capable of and what I believe I am capable of are often two different things.
I was standing in Cherry Creek State Park Reservoir yesterday with a group of amazing women, all shapes, sizes, ages, capabilities and from all walks of life, being coached by a women who just completed a half Ironman competition in New Zeland, and I WAS THERE! I swam, and did really well, and it felt amazing. I felt that little feeling that other athletes or people with passions must feel when they are doing what they love. One of the coaches said that I got bit by the Tri Bug! I was so excited to be doing something intensely personal, intensely hard, ans at the same time part of this amazing group of women who also where fighting some deep personal battles. How cool it is going to be to actually do this triathlon and be at this park with 2000 women all coming out to support a great cause and compete against themselves! I am truly in awe of what an amazing experience this will be.
Hopefully the "perfect" disorder that my house is constantly in, the Cheerios that I find in the strangest places and that dirt on my sons ankle that I wonder is food or poop (equal chances of either) will all be forgotten and the time we spend reading to them every night, the hundredth time we sing wheels on the bus and the triathlon I finish when Mom is 32 years old is the lessons that my children glen. I'm learning to love my imperfectly perfect life.