Thursday, August 28, 2014
All I could think about driving to my Progressive Care Certified Nurse (PCCN) test last month was "I didn't even want to be a Tele nurse" (said in a Dante tone). Why do I have to take this test? Well, I think to prove to myself that I belong here.
I spent five years on a the Med/Tele unit at the first hospital I ever worked at. I grew up in that hospital. My first adult job, my first step in my career. Then I moved on (different hospital, same company). I took a different role there, but still using my bedside nursing skills. Then I took a leap. A leap of faith, a leap of trust. I didn't know how it would all play out but it was very clear to me that I belonged on the Telemetry unit at Longmont United Hospital.
Two years ago I had never even heard of the PCCN exam and certification. When I got hired on full time it became one of my core goals to accomplish while working on this "step down" unit. Once I started looking at the material, I realized I was in WAY over my head.
I signed up for the test in March to get myself to start studying since there was a deadline. Those several months did not lend themselves to studying. There was tons of distractors and hardly any time to study. Lucky I enrolled in a review course that helped me break down the topics into sections. I reviewed the lectures, looked up what I didn't know and couldn't remember. I rescheduled my test once (more for childcare problems than anything) but walking into that test I was not what you would call confident in my preparation. The only thing that was comforting to me was the fact that pass or fail it was not a win loose situation. Worst case scenario I was out about $200. If I failed I wasn't going to fired, put into disciplinary action, or even be laughed at really. If I failed I would just know what I needed to study and try again another time.
Well, I didn't fail. I passed by the skin of my teeth, but I passed. It was truly by the grace of God. There was no other explanation. I think it was his way of showing me and proving to me that I am on the right path. I am doing right by my family, I am doing the work I need to be doing on the shift I need to be doing it. This job is not grand. It is not my life's passion at this point. It does not make me excited to come running into work. I am fortunate that I get paid well for a job that has serious good days and allows me to feel like my work matters. I have a nice schedule that allows me to feel like I am a part time stay at home mom.
Last night was the staff meeting where I was honored for passing my exam. The Chief Nursing Officer attended our meeting to personally congratulate me and give me some cool swag. I felt very honored to be in this place at this time. It may be a small thing but I also get my name engraved on a plaque that hangs in our hallway that recognizes all who are certified. It's kind of funny how things work out sometimes, but I guess I was meant to be a Tele nurse after all.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Well, it took a few hours to convince my husband that it would be fun, we could do it and we should do it. Many hours later we had dusted off the camping gear, acquired a new soft roof rack and with all 5 of us, Luke included, headed north.
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Yesterday I completed my second triathlon. I would love to say it was fun, but it wasn't. I had fun for about the first 5 minutes, thinking "yeah this is great"! Then I spent the next 2 hours waiting for it to be over. I don't think I am a triathlete. I have never been one to be very competitive. With myself or others. When I get that feeling of pain, and knowing that this is uncomfortable, I like to stop. This sport is all about pushing yourself and pushing through that pain. That's just not me or my thing. I like to go swimming. I do not care for swimming in open water for half of a mile. I like to bike. I like to ride my bike to work. I have no interest and owning a bike that is worth more than my car. I do not care to run. I don't mind a nice jog here and there, but going out for a big long run, not me. I think it took a long summer of training (last summer), a lot of personal work to come to this conclusion. Last year was fun because it was such a statement, a exclamation mark and a culmination of when I put my mind to something. I am very proud of the things that I have accomplished in the last year and a half. Yesterday while I was swimming, and biking, and especially running, I just kept thinking I am NOT enjoying myself. I think that was my soul telling me that I need to move on and find the next thing that is going to challenge me. I will always have the pride of accomplishing two triathlons...and in my mid thirties...but I do not care to ever complete one again!