Thursday, August 28, 2014

I never wanted to be a Tele nurse

I remember people asking me in nursing school what kind of nurse I wanted to be.  I didn't know but I knew I didn't want to be a Telemetry nurse.  Yuck! Scary!  They were next to ICU and I didn't think I was cut out for critical care.  I had worked on Med/Tele as a CNA and wow those monitors were loud.  I didn't like the heart.  Anatomy, plumbing, electricity, way to complex for me to get.  All of those rhythms.  Knowing that a rhythm was sometimes just someones interpretation and even the experts could disagree?  And what the hell is Wenckebach?
All I could think about driving to my Progressive Care Certified Nurse (PCCN) test last month was "I didn't even want to be a Tele nurse" (said in a Dante tone).  Why do I have to take this test?  Well, I think to prove to myself that I belong here.
I spent five years on a the Med/Tele unit at the first hospital I ever worked at.  I grew up in that hospital.  My first adult job, my first step in my career.  Then I moved on (different hospital, same company).  I took a different role there, but still using my bedside nursing skills.  Then I took a leap.  A leap of faith, a leap of trust.  I didn't know how it would all play out but it was very clear to me that I belonged on the Telemetry unit at Longmont United Hospital.
Two years ago I had never even heard of the PCCN exam and certification.  When I got hired on full time it became one of my core goals to accomplish while working on this "step down" unit.  Once I started looking at the material, I realized I was in WAY over my head.
I signed up for the test in March to get myself to start studying since there was a deadline.  Those several months did not lend themselves to studying.  There was tons of distractors and hardly any time to study.  Lucky I enrolled in a review course that helped me break down the topics into sections.  I reviewed the lectures, looked up what I didn't know and couldn't remember.  I rescheduled my test once (more for childcare problems than anything) but walking into that test I was not what you would call confident in my preparation.   The only thing that was comforting to me was the fact that pass or fail it was not a win loose situation.  Worst case scenario I was out about $200.  If I failed I wasn't going to fired, put into disciplinary action,  or even be laughed at really.  If I failed I would just know what I needed to study and try again another time. 
Well, I didn't fail.  I passed by the skin of my teeth, but I passed.  It was truly by the grace of God.  There was no other explanation.   I think it was his way of showing me and proving to me that I am on the right path.  I am doing right by my family, I am doing the work I need to be doing on the shift I need to be doing it.  This job is not grand.  It is not my life's passion at this point.   It does not make me excited to come running into work.   I am fortunate that I get paid well for a job that has serious good days and allows me to feel like my work matters.  I have a nice schedule that allows me to feel like I am a part time stay at home mom. 
Last night was the staff meeting where I was honored for passing my exam.  The Chief Nursing Officer attended our meeting to personally congratulate me and give me some cool swag.  I felt very honored to be in this place at this time.  It may be a small thing but I also get my name engraved on a plaque that hangs in our hallway that recognizes all who are certified. It's kind of funny how things work out sometimes, but I guess I was meant to be a Tele nurse after all.

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