Saturday, December 6, 2014

Birthday Eve

Tomorrow I turn 34.  Strange. I have finally arrived at the age I never pictured myself being. I'm not young. I'm not old. I'm in the middle. We are settled. We have established our lives. We have a community, a house, a strong marriage, two kids, a dog, careers (almost), cars and lots of responsibilities. It feels strange to scroll through my Facebook page and see all my "friends" who are also in the middle.
I was planting some flower bulbs today and became in deep mediation about nature and our place as humans in this natural cycle. With our higher intelligence we try to avoid the natural rhythm of the season but we are just as rhythmic as anything around us. There's a time to be born, a time to die, a time to bloom, a time to lay fallow, and a time to nuture.
I started this blog two whole years ago. It has been such a fun experiment with my interests and voice, thoughts and feelings. I will someday print it out in one of those nice bound books and it will be such a powerful reflection on an amazing few years. I feel like I have grown and changed more in the past two years then in any other time of my life.
I had very lofty goals two years ago and really accomplished quite a few huge BHAGs that year. Last year was a lay fallow year. I did a couple of things but didn't have a stellar year. This year I really want to find grace and a balance. A balance in between getting it all done and living a good life. I want to be present and experience all that this crazy life has to offer, focus on  rest and feeding myself. I need to strike a balance in between being fit and having a good exercise regimin and living my life. I pray to God for him to deliver me from my desire for excess. Excess food, excess material things, excess desires.  I want to have a mindset of gratefulness and Gratitude. I look forward to a beautiful spring to witness the blossoming that is my life.