I'm 33!

I didn't mind turning 30.  In some ways I felt like I had finally arrived.  30 seemed respectable to me. 30 seemed like I wouldn't be treated like I was a kid, and that I would be respected.  Now I am 33!  I am officially mid thirties.  I am LOVING it!  I feel established, I feel settled.  The next step is 40, but I have a lot of years before I have to face that one.

Today I am 33.  I have never felt this sure of myself, confident or comfortable in my skin.  I go forward in this world knowing the things I believe in have been evaluated as my own ideals, and not because that was just the way I was taught. I am raising children, with my husband, whom I chose, and we are raising them with our ideals.  We have a strong foundation, spiritually, financially, mentally, emotionally and physically.  I feel grateful.  I see the beauty each day.  I am happy.

As I embark on this exciting year, I pause to enjoy this day.  I pause to honor the place where I am.  I pause to celebrate me!

Goal setting is very important. "If you aim at nothing you will hit it every time".

This year I want to focus on being an admirable person.  It isn't about the outside looking in, but more about me making choices in everything that I can be proud of, and wouldn't be embarrassed about if someone knew.  My cookie binge eating around the holidays, not admirable!  My tendency to be a distracted driver (texting, entering things on my to do list, in my calendar, etc), is REALLY not admirable.  My strong work ethic, or extreme honesty? Admirable!  It is about me owning every decision and action and being able to be proud.  I have two sets of small eyes that watch everything I do, and hear everything I say. What do I want them to see? Hear? What kind of example do I want to set for them?

This year I will not text and drive.  This year I will read at least 12 books.  This year I will be punctual.  This year I will continue to work towards my weight goal.  This year I will be a admirable woman!

Conclusion of the 32nd Year

Tonight is the last night of my 32nd year of life.  This year has been by far the most growth filled, exceptional, accomplishment laden year. I am proud. Last year I laid out several audacious but well thought out goals.  I was very clear on what I wanted, and carefully built myself a road map to accomplish those goals. It is amazing how far I have come. This is the first time I have ever concluded a year feeling like I am a better more whole person because of the goals I laid out and worked towards, and stuck to the entire year. Most years I couldn't have told you what my goals were the year previous.  

This year we paid off all of my student loans, making us DEBT FREE but the house.  We have successfully cashed flowed our lives including ALL of Heath's tuition.  We are slowly building our emergency fund to that six month of expenses number. That will take us awhile longer.

  I lost 20 pounds!  I missed my overall goal by 10 pounds but have to give myself some slack as these are the 10 pounds I have ALWAYS had. Its baby fat, but not Annabelle's or Logan's, it's Mine.  I am struggling with some major hormonal changes as Logan just weened within the last month or so.  That goal will roll over, and that's ok.

I completed a sprint triathlon.  And I wasn't last!  I don't know if I will become a triathlete but I have my eye on doing the Longmont Triathlon in June and the Tri for a Cure in August.  We will see.  It's an expensive sport and I'm a little afraid of being bit by the bug.  

I feel much healthier than I did a year ago. I am much better and clearer about making me a priority. I have figured out where I fit into my life. I am just as important, if not more important than everyone else.  I slow down when I need to, I put my yoga and meditation practice as a priority and not an afterthought.  I excercise regularly.  I eat well.  I give myself the freedom to sit and read that book instead of do the dishes/laundry/pick up the house etc. I am becoming ok with the chaos, or at least owning the part that I can and dismissing the rest.  I got away for a meditation retreat this year with plans for more in the future.  I take baths often to relax and unwind.  I have blogged, all year!  It is a source of expression and freedom. I have a beautiful anonymous audience who listens, and somehow validates me.  I have a to do list that includes future post ideas.  I have never been a good journalour but somehow this comes more easily, and I look forward to my time, in the bath, with my glass of wine/cup of tea some candles and blogger.  

So here's to an amazing 32nd year. It will go down as the year that changed everything.  I learned how to set attainable goals. How to put me first.  How to set an intention for the day. How to roll with the punches and how to be a beautiful woman.  I am excited about the coming year, and all the potential.  How amazing will I be by this time next year?!  Answer: AMAZING!

Gratitude Journal Day 30: Me

November 30th, 2013

Today is my last post.  I'm a little sad that is over.  It is fun going through my day, each day, looking for what I am MOST grateful for that day.  Today I decided I am most grateful for me.  I am pretty great.  It took me many many years to think that, to believe it, and now to profess it.  I love confidence in other women.  I think there is hardly anything better than a woman who knows who she is, what she is capable of and what she wants in this world.  This is how I aim to be.  I have come a long long way this year.  This blog has really helped me explore many ideas, thoughts and feelings.  I have an audience now that I couldn't be more grateful for or more appreciative of.  I have people who enjoy reading what I write and have a genuine interest in my life.  I am in the last week of my 32nd year and I am looking forward at what my goals for next year are going to be.  I am grateful for me and the wonderful woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister and nurse that I am.  Thank you all for your positive comments, blessings, and feedback.  Thank you for going on this month long adventure with me!

Gratitude Journal Day 29: Black Friday

November 29th, 2013

Today I am glad not to be a holiday widow.  For years I would barely see Heath from late Thanksgiving night until Christmas.  It was the biggest part of why I hated retail.  This year, it never escaped my attention that he was able to have the entire Thanksgiving meal with us, and we were able to spend all of Black Friday together!  I would have especially hated this year because he would have had to be in the store late Thanksgiving afternoon and would have had to squeeze in a nap, so he would have missed the whole day.  I am grateful that our lives are taking us in a different direction and I do not have to be that holiday widow ever again!

Gratitude Journal Day 28: Thanksgiving

November 28th, 2013

Today I am grateful for today!  I love Thanksgiving.  It is my single favorite holiday.  It is the only holiday, in my opinion, that are based on facts that nobody can argue whether really happened (no matter how grusem the real story).  There are no consumer requirements for Thanksgiving (see tomorrow's post about consumerism), and the holiday is truly about coming together with the ones you love, friends and family, having a nice meal, and being thankful for it all.  I love all the fall decorations, the sound of the crunching leaves as you walk through doorways with arms full of delicious dishes, the best kind of pot lucking.  

Since I can remember we have had one very stable and traditional Thanksgiving.  I know that my aunt won't always be able to host, we won't always have the same rosebud dishes to eat off of, the familar clink of the china glasses as the ice hits them, but every year we are still here I revel in knowing that this is Thanksgiving and I am so grateful for my life, the sense of stability and consistancy and the tradition of it all. I am so grateful both of my children get to experience it, and the tradition gets to be past down.  

Gratitude Journal Day 27: Mom

November 27th, 2013

Today I am grateful for the opportunity and job I have as Mom.  I am grateful that a life's dream is realized in my two little cherubs.  I have always known I was going to be a mom.  My mom would insert the story here of when I was little, 5 maybe, I didn't have make believe friends, I had make believe kids, 4 to be exact.

It hasn't always been easy, which has been hard for me to question something that I felt so concreat about.  I am looking forward to the days when they are a little older, I think I will enjoy every aspect a bit more. Nevertheless, I am grateful for my role as mother and to have two such blessings that call me that.

I surprisedyself the other day. I overheard, walked by a conversation of two young women that were discussing all the draw backs of being a mom.  They were seriously considering not having children because of saggy boobs, untoned abs, and other such body characteristics after having children (you know what I mean).  I immediately leapt to the defense of "but when they look at you in the middle of the night while feeding them and they give you that ' you are my whole world look" or when they first utter mamma, or when nothing else comforts them but the simple tone of your voice or a stroke of your hand you forget and forgive all that other stuff.  Doesn't even count.  Surprised even myself.  So today, I am grateful for all of it, the good, the bad, the painful, the hard and the great, all of it!

Gratitude Journal Day 26: Lisa

November 26th, 2013

I discovered awhile ago that more people had housekeepers than I would have ever imagined.  In the state of life we are in right now, with as much as Heath and I have on our plate, a few things we were doing had to give.  Several months ago I asked Heath if I could hire a housekeeper.  It is the best money I spend every week!  Not only for vacuumed carpet, scrubbed kitchen floors, but for the peace of mind that the bathtub my children are sitting in is in fact sanitary, and when Logan is rolling around on the floor he doesn't stand up wearing enough dog hair to build another dog.  We keep up with the day to day clutter, but the stuff I wasn't getting to each week, and the stuff I was never getting to, is clean and I am never ashamed to have surprise company.   

It is a luxery, and one I imagine we won't always feel we need, but for now I am grateful that a sweet grandma type women came into my life, doesn't charge me a fortune, loves my kids, does little extra things each week that I have to tell her that's not what we expect but she does because she sees the relief she brings me and how much stress she lets me let go of. Thank you Lisa, today I am grateful for you!